Community & Connection

This season offers us many different gifts: Skills to think abstract and high level, to envision a brighter future, to work with others to achieve big goals, to be part of community, to belong, to make a difference and to join with like minded others. 

Collectively in the western hemisphere, more of us are shifting away from individualism and coming back to the importance and necessity of community. Community is vital for mental health, for belonging, for change, for shaping the future, dismantling systems that benefit few, for neighbourhoods, to be and feel less alone and to have fun. To feel the power of community, is to feel people who are behind you and beside you and won't let you fall (or maybe more accurately, will help with a gentle landing and getting back up again). We are stronger together. We cannot do this alone.

For those of us who have experienced trauma at the hands of another, feeling into this can be challenging. Comfort in feeling held by another, trusting they will be there, feeling into the pleasure of community can be terrifying and inaccessible. If this resonates with you, start with it as an idea. What would community look like to you? Who would these people be? What qualities would you see in them? What would this community centre around (i.e. a walking group, environmental causes, support group, art, black lives matter….it can be anything!)?

Reflections on Relationships

Last month we harnessed the gifts of September by noting, building upon and/or creating, routines that become a resource to support our emotional health, physical bodies and the demands of being a human in modern times.

As we usher in fall, this month we are called to reflect on our most intimate relationships. A call to get curious and notice non-judgmentally the ways that we feel when in connection. Relationships can bring up A LOT OF FEELINGS so be gentle with yourself if tender feelings bubble up this month or while reading this. If judgment of yourself or others gets stirred up as you reflect on this, try parking it to the side or thanking it for being here but that you don’t need it right now.

Some possible reflection questions as you go about your days over this next month:

How do I feel right now as I sit with ______ (friend, sibling, partner, parents, etc)

Do I notice anything in my body as I sit here with _______. Maybe a sensation, temperature, an emotion?

What is the quality of my relationships? Does it vary depending on the connection?

Do I energetically feel filled up, drained or the same when I leave the interaction?

Do I feel loved and cared for? It what ways do I feel this?

Do I offer love and care for others? In what ways do I show this?

Do I feel seen and understood? Do I see and understand those closest to me?

Do my connections feel like a balance of give and take, of giving and receiving? Or do I notice that I tend to give or take more than the other? And who are these relationships with?

Is there conflict in my connections and how much, if any? How do I feel about this?

Remember as you go about this, that it’s an exercise in getting curious about relationships. The gift of this season is rebalancing and reciprocity in this area of life. If some relationships feel out of balance after reflecting, is there a way to bring it back into harmony. Do you want to? Do some feel stuck as they are? There is no right or wrong here.